Regard, success, and desirability can be used to establish the mores or cultural “norms” placed on all of us within society, and are expected to be upheld and enforced by the group. Acceptance of individuality in ourselves and seeing the beauty in differences transforms us and all that we touch.
"Cancel Culture" is all the rage these days. If you aren’t familiar, it goes something like this:
A person of influence, with many eyes on them, makes a public display regarding another person of influence. These public displays are to make their feelings clear about the other person of influence, and let the world know how they felt they had been treated by them. If the public display is emotionally charged, the eyes on this person of influence may see that the one they hold in high regard has been wronged in some way. The many eyes under the influence of public display then turn on the opposing point of view and swarm in defense, often overwhelming the other with outrage regarding the situation. The outrage is expressed in many ways and can be disguised as public service with the intent to expose the offender’s true nature...as perceived through the circumstance and opposing person of influence. It’s an effective strategy, and it’s been used between humans of influence since relating to others began. Some pre-internet types of this cancel culture could be compared to societal shunning and exile of offenders.
Many tales and myths center around the theme of the outcast. We can learn from these tales that often the central conflict is due to oversight or events outside the control of the culture or the exiled. It can be enforced out of sheer meanness or immature error. Regardless, the various eyes regard them as one way or the other, and pronounce them unacceptable. An example would be The Ugly Duckling. He’s not ugly in reality, he just doesn’t match the others. His own siblings and others of the community peck at him, fly at him, and eventually he even believes what the culture reflects as true and free of opinion bias or personal preference. Cancel culture narrowly defines success and desirability, establishes mandates and measurements of self against these qualities. These inform the mores or cultural “norms” placed on all members and are expected to be upheld and enforced by the group.
This is an old, old story. It is still unfolding in our own time, under our own eyes. When the culture has evolved to a more conscious and reasoning one, the internal mores as defined will have ideas about what a person should look like, act like, and perform in ways that aren’t inclusive of divergence. Divergence is a threat in this culture, and is treated as such. In the story of The Ugly Duckling even the mother of a child who is different must choose between the community values and her child. Some of the most destructive cultural conditions to be born into and to live under insist on obedience without consulting one’s own instinctual knowing. This is what we call insight. It is the instinct we humans are born with but must develop as we mature. Neglect of insight, or instinctive knowing is encouraged by a mean-spirited culture. Cancel anything that comes into conflict with the culture, no checking in with one’s own soul.
That’s the antidote to cancel culture. Choosing soul over society means looking at differences with loving-kindness and compassion.
It means that we can’t be held back by economic tiers, systems, or other external constructs that make us appear good or bad within the society. We must trust compassion and follow curiosity and creativity as our guides. The way to kindness instead of cancel calls for the more fierce soul qualities. It must be trained and developed to be strong enough to withstand the swarm of followers insisting on compliance at all costs. You must be like the heroes and heroines of the myths and stories and seek out what the soul needs over the needs of a destructive culture. Even if the qualities of kindness and compassion are discouraged, seek them out. Find them, shelter them, nurture their growth in spite of societal norms. An instinctually mature adult has the tools to do harm or to help, they are all within us. This is gained by watching those around us who are wise and tempered like steel. They have become strong for what they have gone through...and are still kind. They know about the cost of experience, and the kindness that remains through hardship comes from developing resilience. It comes naturally with a soulful understanding of self and expressing it through pursuits such as work, rest, love, and hope. Resilience doesn’t evolve from living more well behaved, restrained or subdued. It is born from the idea that you should be just what you are, and let the others be what they are too. Struggle through it. Acceptance of individuality in ourselves and seeing the beauty in differences transforms us and all it touches. Choose kindness towards differences and we can learn from them instead of erasing them. Learn from them, don’t draw back or hide, and even if life gets ugly sometimes... with resilience you can withstand whatever comes your way, and remain kind.
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