Journal Two: Analysis Paralysis

In order to get anywhere with this I'm forced to overcome my life long affliction with analysis paralysis. I don't have time to sit around and figure out what I'm going to do, how I will do it, what I want it to look like at all points of progress and completion. That's why I have composition books, Evernote, note pads...all sorts of stuff capturing great ideas...and struggle, struggle, struggle through getting results. I fight the process all the way and I think it just boils down to this: I'm terrified of not knowing. I want to know so bad that I can't let go of the unknown in order to make stuff happen. Making the everyday stuff happen is OK because that's stuff I know how to do. Any changes were made in a comfortable way, I planned it out mostly, executed it well enough to feel accomplished.

Here is the problem. It isn't there in that every day stuff I'm supposed to be doing anyway. I clean my room, eat my vegetables and try to do my best taking care of my people. It's comfortable. I want to push beyond comfortable, push myself to do the hard stuff that creates real personal growth. I want to affect and inspire. These are things that I've said I want for a long time. I think that in small steps and just the intention I've done pretty well but I've been settling for the comfort of the known.

In order to get anywhere with this I'm forced to take action. Just pick something and get going.

I want to be open to not having the answers before I begin.